The Al Morton Takeout

You Only Lie Twice

In this episode, we explore what would happen if British Prime Minister Johnson were to play the role of James Bond's nemesis, supervillain Ernst Stavro Blofeld. Would he really feed his political allies to the piranhas? I share further insight from Twitter on Nigel Farage's new career and we find out who NASA would call if Houston were to experience a problem with a British component on a Mars mission. We explore whether or not it is wrong for vegetarian guitarists to play at a steak bar and what the blue-hatted mistress of mischief thought about my playing.

Finally, I reveal what happened when Pink Floyd's production manager called my grandmother. Oh dear, this one is going to be a shocker! Join me and our billionaires in space as we romp through this one-rule-for-us-and-a-different-rule-for-you edition of The Al Morton Takeout...

The Pirate Code

In this episode, we board The Black Pearl to learn the British Ministerial Pirate Code, pay a visit to the Downing St Media Centre, and drop in on the recording of a Nasty Party political broadcast. I pay tribute to HRH the Duke of Edinburgh and discuss cultural differences between the UK and Spain. Finally, I ask the question: Is football necessary? Warning - listeners of a sensitive disposition should skip the first half to avoid embarrassing scenes with a pole dancer...

Mr. Potato Head

Episode 8. In this explosive edition, we discover which bully is the greater, Megan or Priti. We ask if the Royal Family are racists and share top decorating tips from no.10 for under 200,000. We ask if Mr Potato Head deserves a knighthood more than Nigel Farage and place a call to the COVID hotline.  Finally, I reveal what happens when you cancel the musicians for your bingo night.


Episode 7 is brought to you live from the bridge of the Tory Party Death Star. Lord Vader makes plans for the devolved regions and Priti Patel gives a fulsome apology for not bullying. Princess Nut Nut topples the mighty Dominic Cummings and Boris Johnson becomes the new Christmas Grinch. We learn about Aardvark husbandry in Spain and the age limit to avoid choking on seedless grapes at New Year. Finally, Catworld goes global with record sales of my thriller, Permissive Ink.

3 minute Trailer for my last book Permissive Ink

An updated trailer for my thriller, Permissive Ink. The guitars are those of Andrea González Caballero playing Joaquin Malats' 'Serenata Española', an extract from a Mike Britton BBC jazz archive, and Mariano Franco's 'El Mariachi', from the film Desperado. Check them out and maybe download a Kindle version of Permissive Ink

The Cruel Sea

In this episode, I nominate Priti Patel for a Nobel Prize for her tireless work helping asylum seekers and ask the question: has the UK become a 'rogue state'? I will be chatting with Miley Cyrus' alter ego about veganism, as well as Davros, Lord of the Daleks, who takes time out of his busy schedule (destroying the universe) to thank Dominic Cummings and the Conservative party. We discover the dangers of competitive paella and which guitars are loudest. 

Typhoid Mary

This month I have been busy trying to find an agent for my book, One Canada Square. My blue Brexitty passport arrives, and I pay tribute to guitarist Julian Bream. I question why MPs would rather clap NHS nurses than pay them properly. I also ask why the BBC needs to chase over 75s for their licence fee. Finally, I answer the question: how much vaginal lubricant are you allowed to bring onto a Ryanair flight to Benidorm? I play some guitar, plus Elevator Music by

The Cult of Celebrity

Have you ever wondered why people on social media post the most trivial and self-indulgent nonsense? I discuss this wave of home-based COVID-19 attention-seeking, in my own 'attention-seeking' podcast. I then double down by playing the guitar at the end. There is also a light-hearted analysis of EU lockdown differences as well as that Dominic Cummings' road trip.  We end with the age-old question of whether or not Spain needs yet another guitarist. Of course, it does!!! 

From Spain, the delayed UK lock-down looks like a Perfect Storm

As UK confirmed cases of coronavirus exceeds 100k; a figure based on marginal testing, I talk about the differences between the UK and European approach. I ask the question: Is Britain once again the ‘sick man of Europe'? and was Brexit ideology responsible for this? I also talk about my own difficulties in coping with our stricter regime in Spain and some surprising solutions. Background squeaking credits: Kira the dog.

Interview about my debut novel; Permissive Ink on Talk Radio Europe with Hannah Murray

I was lucky enough to be invited onto The Book Show by Hannah Murray to talk about my debut novel: Permissive Ink. I talk about why I wrote the book and why my wife, two children and I became black belts in karate in Spain. I also discuss the writing process, and what you need to know if you are going to write a book. I am sure you are. Find out what can go wrong and how to overcome it. After 17 Years in Spain, I would not change a thing, although believe me, I made plenty of mistakes. 

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