Episode 7 is brought to you live from the bridge of the Tory Party Death Star. Lord Vader makes plans for the devolved regions and Priti Patel gives a fulsome apology for not bullying. Princess Nut Nut topples the mighty Dominic Cummings and Boris Johnson becomes the new Christmas Grinch. We learn about Aardvark husbandry in Spain and the age limit to avoid choking on seedless grapes at New Year. Finally, Catworld goes global with record sales of my thriller, Permissive Ink.

An updated trailer for my thriller, Permissive Ink. The guitars are those of Andrea González Caballero playing Joaquin Malats' 'Serenata Española', an extract from a Mike Britton BBC jazz archive, and Mariano Franco's 'El Mariachi', from the film Desperado. Check them out and maybe download a Kindle version of Permissive Ink

In this episode, I nominate Priti Patel for a Nobel Prize for her tireless work helping asylum seekers and ask the question: has the UK become a 'rogue state'? I will be chatting with Miley Cyrus' alter ego about veganism, as well as Davros, Lord of the Daleks, who takes time out of his busy schedule (destroying the universe) to thank Dominic Cummings and the Conservative party. We discover the dangers of competitive paella and which guitars are loudest. 

This month I have been busy trying to find an agent for my book, One Canada Square. My blue Brexitty passport arrives, and I pay tribute to guitarist Julian Bream. I question why MPs would rather clap NHS nurses than pay them properly. I also ask why the BBC needs to chase over 75s for their licence fee. Finally, I answer the question: how much vaginal lubricant are you allowed to bring onto a Ryanair flight to Benidorm? I play some guitar, plus Elevator Music by incompetech.com

Have you ever wondered why people on social media post the most trivial and self-indulgent nonsense? I discuss this wave of home-based COVID-19 attention-seeking, in my own 'attention-seeking' podcast. I then double down by playing the guitar at the end. There is also a light-hearted analysis of EU lockdown differences as well as that Dominic Cummings' road trip.  We end with the age-old question of whether or not Spain needs yet another guitarist. Of course, it does!!! 

As UK confirmed cases of coronavirus exceeds 100k; a figure based on marginal testing, I talk about the differences between the UK and European approach. I ask the question: Is Britain once again the ‘sick man of Europe'? and was Brexit ideology responsible for this? I also talk about my own difficulties in coping with our stricter regime in Spain and some surprising solutions. Background squeaking credits: Kira the dog.

I was lucky enough to be invited onto The Book Show by Hannah Murray to talk about my debut novel: Permissive Ink. I talk about why I wrote the book and why my wife, two children and I became black belts in karate in Spain. I also discuss the writing process, and what you need to know if you are going to write a book. I am sure you are. Find out what can go wrong and how to overcome it. After 17 Years in Spain, I would not change a thing, although believe me, I made plenty of mistakes.